Last week was a very heavy and hard week as we waded through the dark and murky waters of immense grief.
We unexpectedly lost someone very dear to our family and I considered rescheduling the 20th anniversary party and vow renewal ceremony I had planned to surprise Dave with last night. (The ceremony was two years in the making after he had surprised me with another wedding band in the same spot where he had proposed 19 years before).
We were just too sad and too exhausted from carrying the heavy weight of grief.
But, I also knew that none of this was a surprise to God. He knew we would be sad and He knew we could hold it all - sorrow and joy. This was the only date on our calendar that worked when I first started planning and I now know that it was exactly what we needed exactly when we needed it.
God instructs us to "Celebrate and Remember" in the 13th chapter of Exodus and that's what we did. We remembered the two giddy kids who vowed to love one another through both the hard and happy times twenty years ago. We remembered all that God has done for us and through us over the past two decades. We remembered His immense blessings and we renewed our sacred vows from a place of gratitude for time-weathered and life-tested steadfast love. And, we celebrated. We laughed with and hugged our people. We looked around at our tribe and thanked them for walking alongside us in this life.
The thing about grief is it's tricky. You can be so very sad and miss someone so deeply and you can also make room for joy and celebration. This morning, I'm holding all of it and praising the One who made sure that a boy in Colorado would meet a girl in Florida and that they would go on to build an abundant life together in Arkansas.
The most special moment of the evening for me? When our friend Nick called our kids up and we had a private moment together that I’ll forever treasure in my heart.
This life can be so hard and so beautiful and I wouldn't want to do it with anyone other than Dave Marrs by my side.
Photo credit: Mike D’Avello
